Skillet's jokes

Hello all i am new here and i have free time now,so i spend here some jokes every day.

Yo momma so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours...for a quote!

Doctor please what's with me?
It show after dissection.

The blonde come to german shop and she wan't battery.
Shop Assistant: "Dischorgd?"
Blonde:"No,recharged you cow!

Policeman stop the driver and told:
"You doesn't see the transit mark??"
"Yes i do,but i doesn't see you!"

What's one of the pros of marrying a mexican?
Unlimited supply of natural gas.

What does vegetarian dingos eat?
Cabbage patch kids.

Why do dogs lick their balls?
Because they can.

In Heaven:

The cooks are French,
The policemen are English,
The mechanics are German,
The lovers are Italian,
The bankers are Swiss.


In Hell:

The cooks are English,
The policemen are German,
The mechanics are French,
The lovers are Swiss,
The bankers are Italian.

(With that blonde is a bit vague)

But others are fun

Now pictures

m8s give this guy some attention


hello skillet (i know a band called skillet )

thats reason of my name - i like the band

Videos:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIms0a2oeGQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=404qLvKU5u8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLW3JZUJN9E&feature=related
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BudNc4Ggg64

Welcome Skillet

I know what are you talking about. I have much time in work so if I don't read something I watch these things. I think I know most funny things on youtube for example

hello, welcome, enjoy Ur stay, keep'em coming

what do you mean with enjoy your stay and i keep it

Yo Momma so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, and she said, "Moving."

Welcome Skillet, nice jokes

Enjoy your stay^^

nice one SKILLET!

Sry i hasn't much time yesterday to add some new jokes so i do it now.

Legend has it that there is a coffee bar in
New York where, in the Ladies Room there is a very special mirror. If one stands in front of the mirror and tells the truth one is granted a wish.
However, if one tells a lie ---*poof*------- you are instantly swallowed up by the mirror, never to be seen again.
A redhead of questionable looks walks into the ladies room and stands before the mirror and says, "I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world." *Poof* the mirror swallows her up.
Next a rather large brunette stands before
the mirror and says, "I'm the sexiest woman alive". *Poof* the mirror swallows her too.
Then, an absolutely gorgeous blond comes in and stands before the mirror and says, "I think...". *Poof*

Yo mama so nasty she made speed stick slow down.
Yo mama so nasty she brings crabs to the beach.
Yo mama so nasty she made right guard turn left.
Yo mama so nasty the fishery be paying her to leave
Yo mama so nasty she has to creep up on bathwater.
Yo mama so nasty that pours salt water down her pants to keep her crabs fresh.
Yo mama so nasty I called her to say hello, and she ended up giving me an ear infection.

A kindergartner was practicing spelling with magnetic letters on the refrigerator: cat, dog, dad, and mom had been proudly displayed for all to see.
One morning while getting ready for the day, he bounded into the room with his
arms outstretched. In his hands were three magnetic letters: G-O-D.
“Look what I spelled, Mom!” with a proud smile on his face.
“That's wonderful!” his mom praised him. “Now go put them on the fridge so Dad
can see when he gets home tonight.”
The mom happily thought that her son's Catholic education was certainly having
an impact. Just then, a little voice called from the kitchen: “Mom? How do you spell
‘zilla’?”

Welcome Skillet, keep 'em coming.

thanks all for welcome and i keep em going

how can i make my own signature like lost & painless

Try Gimp, it's free so you've nothing to loose. There's plenty of Gimp tutorials out there too.

ok ty..

sorry but my 16 year old cousin died so i end bye all

I am sorry...

sorry to hear that...